The more I go along in this work, the more I learn that fundamentally changes the way I view so many things.
This past year, I participated in an intensive training called DEEP. DEEP is a fusion of attachment theory, somatic approaches, trauma therapy and depth psychology in an experiential therapeutic approach . And, so much is still sinking in for me.
One of the things I’ve had to rethink in this experience is the idea of having “no boundaries.” We say this a lot – about ourselves, other people, you name it.
However, if we allow ourselves to feel our feelings and honor them, then we learn things about ourselves that we didn’t know before. One of those things being where our boundaries actually lie.
I’ve seen this to be so true in my work with clients. The more we look at difficult feelings the more we see that even those who believe they have no boundaries actually do have boundaries. Many feelings are actually like smoke signals trying to cue for boundaries. It’s just that those feelings have not been allowed to show up and take up space. By not allowing these feelings to inform us, the boundaries underneath them lie dormant.
From this place, many walk around with the label of being a “person with no boundaries.” As if it’s this fundamental flaw you can’t shake off.
Through this experience, I’ve realized that this doesn’t have to be true. If we can allow ourselves to tune in, then we might actually find that we had boundaries all along.
What an empowering thing it is to see that we do in fact have boundaries – just waiting for us to see, feel and honor them.