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Overcoming the Shoulds

The shoulds show up a lot, don’t they? And they make us feel so disempowered.

I see clients regularly get caught up in shoulds. I even see them notice and call out the shoulds. But even in doing so it can be hard to figure out how to be less subjected to them.

My go-to?


Shoulds are like the wind. Values are our roots.

Shoulds are an external force on us. At times subtle and permeating. Other times, forceful and quickly changing. Just like the wind.

Values are an extension of our core selves. They are buried within us, grounding and they can help us grow. Just like roots.

So when caught up in the shoulds, root in your values.

As you do so, you strengthen your root system, making you more resilient to the shoulds in the future.

Not sure about where you would start in terms of rooting in your values? Perhaps your inner 20-something might have an idea…

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gif of Natalia Amari shaking her hair

Natalia Amari, lcsw

On a mission to help others overcome trauma and reclaim their personal power.


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