I often hear clients talk about the not-so-subtle shoulds that loved ones sling their way.
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“What does your therapist say?”
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“You’re barking up the wrong tree.”
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“You just need to get over it.”
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“That’s not a very wise choice…remember what happened with so-n-so?”
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Oftentimes, this comes from a place of love but feels pretty shitty to be, essentially, told how to live your life.
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So, here’s my stance.
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It’s your life. And you’re allowed to choose how you want to live it.
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That could mean so many things.
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Like, dating someone who you know is not quite right for you.
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Opting to taper down on something rather than quit cold turkey.
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Impulsively booking that plane ticket on a credit card.
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Continuing to avoid those painful feelings.
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When you get right down to it, you get to choose. Even if it looks like you are fucking up your life.
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There are way too many moments in life where you have to choose between a few difficult options. Which means you are going to choose things that are not ideal along the way. That’s real life.
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And sometimes that’s exactly the step we need to take – even if we get hurt. Because then it’s a choice we get to own, which is like a tiny seed of power.
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There’s always going to be an effect to anything we choose. My only hope is to bring all of that into more conscious awareness so that those choices are informed choices.