woman with her hair blowing rebelliously in the wind

Your Life, Your Choices

I often hear clients talk about the not-so-subtle shoulds that loved ones sling their way.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“What does your therapist say?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“You’re barking up the wrong tree.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“You just need to get over it.”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
“That’s not a very wise choice…remember what happened with so-n-so?”
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Oftentimes, this comes from a place of love but feels pretty shitty to be, essentially, told how to live your life.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
So, here’s my stance.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
It’s your life. And you’re allowed to choose how you want to live it.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
That could mean so many things.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Like, dating someone who you know is not quite right for you.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Opting to taper down on something rather than quit cold turkey.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Impulsively booking that plane ticket on a credit card.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Continuing to avoid those painful feelings.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
When you get right down to it, you get to choose. Even if it looks like you are fucking up your life.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There are way too many moments in life where you have to choose between a few difficult options. Which means you are going to choose things that are not ideal along the way. That’s real life.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
And sometimes that’s exactly the step we need to take – even if we get hurt. Because then it’s a choice we get to own, which is like a tiny seed of power.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There’s always going to be an effect to anything we choose. My only hope is to bring all of that into more conscious awareness so that those choices are informed choices.

Share Wisely

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

gif of Natalia Amari shaking her hair

Natalia Amari, lcsw

On a mission to help others overcome trauma and reclaim their personal power.

REAL TALK IN YOUR INBOX

Trauma-informed science + sass and exclusive Rebel to Rebel Q&A letters delivered via digital carrier pigeon straight to your inbox.