We often get stumped by big feelings.⁣
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Feelings that may have been deemed “inappropriate” or “off-limits” during our upbringing.⁣
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Feelings that our attachment figures didn’t know what to do with – therefore, we don’t know what to do with them.⁣
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Feelings that cultural norms throw shade on.⁣
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We can have this experience with all kinds of feelings like joy, anger, sadness, grief, delight, pride…really any feeling…not just the “baddies.”⁣
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When we start working on this in therapy it can be super challenging to figure out how to allow these feelings to be — be seen, heard, felt, expressed. Which in turn keeps us from benefitting from the important functions of these feelings.⁣
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My go to?⁣
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Honor.⁣
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In my experience, if we can approach these big feelings from a place of honor it changes so much about how we orient to those feelings. It can foster a sense of openness or curiosity about the function of those feelings – rather than dismissing or avoiding our feelings.⁣
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Figuring out “what to do” with those feelings can become a little clearer when we ask ourselves what it would look like to honor that feeling. It can even help us figure out our own nuanced approach rather than getting prescriptive or black and white about what a “healthy” approach would look like.⁣
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Through honor, we can allow our feelings to guide us and help us process our experiences. And I just love that.