woman sitting on a bench in a museum in front of a painting

Looks like a duck, talks like a duck, walks like a duck, but isn’t a duck.

Therapy is a weird kind of relationship.

It’s intimate but not in the romantic way.

It feels like talking to your best girlfriend. But you are not actually friends. You may even get to know some details about your therapist – enough to know they are human. But it’s a one-way relationship. That’s part of why it is so effective.

It’s one of the few places where you can be all me, me, me, me without pissing off all your real-life friends. And if you feel guilty about it, that becomes food for therapy.

There’s also no such thing as TMI.

Not in my book anyways. You can say as little or as much as you want to say and you won’t be judged. In actuality, sometimes revealing those things that feel like TMI can become the keys to the healing path kingdom.

You may even feel a kind of love from your therapist. Not in a romantic way, but more like a deep, universal, permeating feeling of care, warmth and positive regard. In this sense, you are one of many that are loved in this way.

They may represent a sort of parental figure to you. It happens. Of course, they aren’t your parent but it may be a useful representation for a time. Use it. But know that it is temporary.

Therapy is a close relationship where you aim to get attached enough to do the work and then work on how to healthfully detach and move forward in your life.

The goal is not for you to reach this divine mecca of knowing how to do every aspect of life or even fixing everything. The goal is to gain enough tools and internal capacity to have the confidence to know that you will be able to figure things out as you go. That’s called self-efficacy.

It’s about working through this unique relationship to develop your own pathways toward your own solutions.

If you are not sure how to feel about this close, personal, or friendly, but oddly one-way relationship – know that this means it is working. Only through a positive, collaborative relationship do any therapy methods actually work.

Your therapist who brought you into this space will also help to bring you out of it. When that time comes.

For now though, know that this all part of the process and make good use of it.

About the Author

Natalia Amari, LCSW

Natalia Amari, LCSW

On a mission to help others overcome experiences of trauma and reclaim their personal power. In the name of hope and empowerment, Natalia brings culturally responsive, attachment oriented, trauma therapy to people striving to break free from the past and unearth their best self.

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Natalia Amari, LCSW

Natalia Amari, LCSW

On a mission to help others overcome experiences of trauma and reclaim their personal power. In the name of hope and empowerment, Natalia brings culturally responsive, attachment oriented, trauma therapy to people striving to break free from the past and unearth their best self.

Share Wisely

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin

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